In an enlightening discussion on this week's episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali hosts Dr. Adia Gooden, a renowned psychologist and advocate for unconditional self-worth. Dr. Gooden dives deep into her personal journey of overcoming feeling unworthy as a high-achiever and shares valuable insights into how others can do the same.

Early Influences and the Start of a Journey

Dr. Adia Gooden's story begins in Pasadena, California, where her early years were shaped by her parents, both clinical psychologists. Despite growing up in a stable environment, Dr. Gooden shares that underlying challenges, such as her mother's postpartum depression, planted early seeds of self-worth struggles. Her upbringing instilled a strong value of serving others, guiding her towards a career in psychology.

Understanding the Layers

Dr. Gooden explains that her path to becoming a psychologist and advocate for women's self-worth was influenced not only by her parents' professions but also by her own experiences of loneliness and feeling left out. Her sensitivity to others' feelings and her desire to help led her to this professional path, providing her with a unique perspective and ability to connect with her clients.

The Personal Journey to Self-Worth

A significant part of Dr. Gooden's journey involved recognising her own struggles with self-worth. She describes how external achievements never led to an internal sense of worthiness, prompting her to search elsewhere for validation. Through personal therapy and self-exploration, she discovered the universal nature of these struggles and committed herself to helping others overcome them.

Empowering Women to Rediscover Their Worth

Dr. Gooden emphasises the importance of examining personal self-worth stories - the narratives we tell ourselves about why we are or aren't worthy. By critically evaluating and challenging these beliefs, individuals can begin to detach their self-worth from external validation. Her approach includes encouraging self-reflection and fostering self-compassion.

The Masks We Wear

Dr. Gooden discusses the performative nature of today's society, where many hide behind masks of confidence while feeling unworthy inside. This defensive mechanism often prevents true vulnerability and receiving needed support. She advocates for identifying and safely sharing our struggles with trusted individuals or professionals.

Breaking Free from Shame

A personal anecdote shared by Dr. Gooden highlights her journey through shame and self-doubt after contracting herpes, an experience that deeply affected her self-perception. Her openness about this time in her life serves as a powerful example of overcoming shame and reclaiming self-worth.

Key Takeaways: Reclaiming Unconditional Worth

Dr. Gooden leaves listeners with the crucial lesson that one's worth is inherent and cannot be taken away by past events or actions. Embracing unconditional self-worth involves recognising that we deserve to be loved and to take up space simply because we are human.

Connecting with Dr. Adia Gooden

Listeners interested in working with Dr. Adia Gooden can explore her offerings through her websiteor contact her directly via email. She offers therapy and coaching services designed to guide individuals on their journey to embracing unconditional self-worth.

Remarkable Women Who Inspire

In closing, Dr. Gooden pays tribute to her late grandmother, Margaret Shorter, a dedicated teacher and advocate for children's welfare, as a significant source of inspiration. Her grandmother's legacy of commitment to making the world better for future generations profoundly influences Dr. Gooden's own work.

Dr. Adia Gooden's story is a compelling reminder of the importance of self-compassion and resilience in overcoming internalised self-doubt and shame. Her insights offer a guiding light for anyone on the journey to reclaiming their self-worth.

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Your Journey Begins Here

If you or someone you know is grappling with similar experiences, know that you are not alone. Speak up, seek help, and embrace vulnerability as the beginning of your healing journey. Whether through trusted friends, professionals, or community resources, finding someone you can confide in can be life changing. I know this to be true firsthand.

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