In an enlightening episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali opens up about her journey to self-acceptance and authentic love. Joined by her close friend and guest host, Darleen Davies, an International Career and Mindset Coach, Dr Connie shares an intimate narrative of overcoming people-pleasing tendencies and embracing vulnerability in relationships. This episode dives into the roots of self-worth issues and the transformative power of therapy, self-reflection, and authentic living.

The 'Good Girl' Chapter

Dr Connie candidly recounts her early years, marked by a strong desire to please others and a pursuit of perfection. Born and raised in Birmingham after her parents moved to the UK from Uganda, she excelled academically and socially, moulding herself to meet others' expectations. This 'Good Girl' persona, however, prevented her from expressing her true feelings and desires, ultimately impacting her self-esteem and approach to relationships.

Reflections on Relationships

As Dr Connie reflects, her dating experiences were overshadowed by a need to be 'perfect,' which stifled authenticity and emotional depth. Despite her vibrant exterior, she harboured feelings of not being enough, which she only began to unravel through therapy. Therapy provided Dr Connie with the tools to confront these limiting beliefs and recognise patterns that hurt her self-esteem, leading her to a pivotal moment of clarity.

A Turning Point in Therapy

A significant revelation came during therapy when a dating experience forced her to confront her deep-seated insecurities. Hearing a potential partner confess a lack of attraction empowered Dr Connie to realise that the true issue lay in her own self-perception. This moment spurred a profound journey of self-acceptance, as she learned to build a foundation of self-worth independent of external validation.

Embracing Authenticity

Dr Connie describes the liberating process of embracing her true self, shedding the superficial facade she had long maintained. Through small yet significant actions, such as changing her online profiles to show her authentic self without a wig, she began to call forward people who truly resonated with her genuine identity. This newfound confidence and vulnerability transformed her outlook on relationships, leading to more fulfilling and balanced connections.

A New Chapter: Love Rooted in Authenticity

Finding love with her partner, Dave, Dr Connie now experiences the joy of being fully accepted and loved for who she is. Her relationship is characterised by openness, mutual respect, and a shared journey of self-discovery. She emphasizes that true connection blossoms when individuals are free to express their full selves without the weight of shame or the need for pretence.

A Message of Hope

For those who resonate with Dr Connie’s story, her message is clear: Authentic love begins with self-love. Embrace vulnerability and the journey to self-acceptance, for therein lies the foundation of genuine relationships. Dr Connie advocates for the transformative power of therapy and encourages those struggling with similar issues to reach out and find support in trusted friends or professionals.

Joining the Journey

Dr Connie's story is a testament to the strength in embracing one's true self and the boundless possibilities that unfold when we let go of shame and societal expectations. Her journey invites us all to reflect on our own lives and consider what changes we might need to embrace our authentic selves.

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Your Journey Begins Here

If you or someone you know is grappling with similar experiences, know that you are not alone. Speak up, seek help, and embrace vulnerability as the beginning of your healing journey. Whether through trusted friends, professionals, or community resources, finding someone you can confide in can be life changing. I know this to be true firsthand.

Get in Touch

Join the community:

@DrConnieKerali on Instagram and LinkedIn

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